Mars Attacks! Review by Beth Ann Griese

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Starring	Jack Nicholson, Glenn Close, Lukas Haas, tons of other stars
Director	Tim Burton
Year	1996
What it's worth		Second run * (See it as part of a double-feature or at a dollar house. * - with caveat)

The Martians have landed, in a ton of warships armed to the teeth. But the foolish scientist assures the oblivious President that any advanced race must be peaceful, so the President agrees to meet them as friends. The Martians promptly vaporize half of Washington, but the scientist again tells the President that there must be a misunderstanding, in spite of the warmonger general's near fit of hysteria to drop nukes on the aliens.

That's about all of a plot there is to this. Little green men attack the US. A lot. We don't get a reason, we don't get any background into the whys or wherefores. We just get to watch the reaction of everyone from the President, played by Jack Nicholson, to a Vegas shark, also played by Jack Nicholson, to a none-too-bright lad from a trailer home, played by Lukas Haas. (Haas, by the way, was the Amish boy from Witness, for those of you who might be bugged by how familiar-looking he is.)

This isn't a movie that everyone will enjoy, and even for those it does appeal to, it will never acheive cult status. It has a lot of Tim Burton's twisted and fairly sick sense of humor, and as I mentioned, there is that nagging lack of plot that starts causing concern about an hour into the film, when you realize you've seen all you're going to see of development. There are only about five funny gags to this film, but those five are worth the laughs they get.

The fun parts of this movie are watching a long parade of actors - Jack Nicholson, Glenn Close, Michael J Fox, Annette Bening, Tom Jones, Rod Steiger, Danny Devito, and at least a half-dozen more - all have a ball yelling their heads off and hamming it up as befuddled people under attack by guys who look like they walked off the War of the Worlds set. The Martians have no compunctions at all about blowing every person in sight to kingdom come using every dirty trick in the book. This movie is proud to be goofy, and as per usual, Burton's heroes are the misfits and the malcontents who we usually would forget about on the side of the road.

I can only recommend Mars Attacks with a lot of reservations. Don't see it if you don't like science fiction, and if you can't tolerate deliberately bad movies. Don't see it, either, if you're in the mood for a story. Go see it if you want some silliness and hammy acting rolled up with some funny special effects. Go see it if you feel like playing name-that-cameo or making up a bizarre drinking game for the number of gruesome deaths or stupid actions by leading characters. That's the right mood for enjoying the show, and will be the one that will give you the most out of it.

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